Essential Oils and Autism

Why are essential oils useful in supporting my autistic needs?

One of the key features of my autistic journey is my relationship with scent. Everyone has favourite and least favourite smells. Smell has an incredible ability to trigger memories. The smell of fresh grass for many takes you back to that sense of freedom you had as a child when the summer holidays arrived. The smell of fresh coffee triggering a sense of family time on lazy Sunday’s or sense of connection as you catch up over a coffee.

Freedom of running fields in summer on grass

For the neurodivergent community sense of smell can be super charged and it goes way beyond like/dis-like. I recall being at secondary school and one of the girls in my year would bring a beautifully wholesome and balanced pack lunch to school. Full of all the super foods that as a parent, we dream of having the head space or time to fill our kids with. Teen years are always a challenge as you find your way in the world but I was going through a bit of a dominant phase. It is no excuse, if you are reading this and recognise yourself- I am sincerely sorry and what I am about to say is not an excuse!

The smell of humous and rice crackers genuinely used to fill my whole body with hate. I could feel it from my head to my toe. If I was in the middle of a really good chat about social lives, boys, horses and that smell wafted over to me it was like someone was being physically hurtful to me. At that stage in my life I was just very un-kind and handed out careless and mean nick names. As my ability to recognise that this was not kind matured I found myself actively avoiding places and activities that would trigger this response. It is rarely an anger response nowadays, more of an anxious panic. I have to leave. I cannot concentrate. In fact, I can barely hear what is being said because my inner voice is too busy discussing how awful the smell is, planning how to get away from it. (This may sound amusing but if this resonates with you, read on!)

As an adult, you are expected to just get on with things and I am very conscious of not putting my opinions into my kids heads. They can make their own choices so takes a lot of regulation for me to not cause a scene. If my husband wants to go explore new places to eat and drink, I genuinely can smell it before we get inside. If it is just him, I will be honest but if the kids are there I have to find some excuses.

This is where essential oils have really helped me, I have developed my Ease & embody essential oil blend for this exact reason- I take everywhere with me. Not just the fact it is a beautiful clean and punchy smell but the impact on my Limbic system is calming and soothing.

Stressful experiences

If you are autistic, chances are you are an over-thinker like me?!

The start and the end of the day are probably the key times for overthinking for me. I am forward planning all of the engagements I will have in my day, I will consider who it is with, where it is and how I need to ‘be’. Will they be honest about how they feel, can I trust their feedback, will they have a hidden agenda behind their views? Will they be setting me up to test me? Will I be able to read their emotions and avoid upsetting them If I slip up and let my mask drop? This is where I consistently use Rise & Shine blend here. Gives you a gentle nudge into your day whilst holding your hand as you step into the new day. As my eyes are open and my body starts to stirr, using the Rise & Shine blend is like your personal sensory support team.

You then navigate the day with getting everyone up and out, school run with parents/teachers and anyone else on route. You deal with your work meetings and events and anything else you have to navigate. wondering in your head if you are giving appropriate eye contact, is your body language right and have you managed to achieve the ‘right level’ of sharing and honesty.

Once the rush is over, driving or walking mostly. I then dissect every conversation I have had- like a mini retrospective. Was that what they ACTUALLY meant? Do they think I was engaged? Did I seem interested? Could I have said anything else that would have clarified things further, was too vague? Meanwhile physically my shoulders are tight, my eyes feel drained, my heart is racing because of my overthinking and my nervous system isn’t sure if we are in crisis or it is yet another false alarm.

These situations are SO incredibly exhausting and I use essential oils to soften the edges. I use Ease and Embody through out the day, just when i need it. Giving me a sensory hug during all of the key events. (I like the fact people in the meeting room look around for where the lovely fresh smell is coming from- under the desk on my pulse points of course!) As the bulk of the day is over I then introduce Sundown soother. Like a gentle comforting stroke to my nervous system. Signalling safety and security. The gorgeous essentials in this one are specialists in this space.

confused and over thinking

Social and busy spaces

Don’t get me wrong, I do like seeing friends and family but I have to have ‘enough spoons’ available. Spoons are a great analogy for managing energy levels. If you haven’t used it before, it basically means using a fictional measure to help you plan your day. So I like to work with 8 spoons. I plan out my day, assign spoons to activities and ensure I am not planning more spoons that I have because that will leave to burn out, shut down and me being unable to be Mum/Wife.

Let’s say I am due in the office for face to face, on site activities. I drive down and conduct the usual over-think on route then walk into a vast shared space office. I instantly know who is in the office by certain key smells and have to deal with the fact there are potent smells of food, drinks, perfumes, materials etc etc. Smells aside, then there is ‘small talk’. I am lucky enough to have a great bunch of friends at work that I love to see and genuinely enjoying chatting and catching up. It’s the awkward moments when you need to hot desk and the person next to you feels awkward and needs to ask benign questions- I then go into overthink mode ‘what is the right response, what is the right level of information, does my face to expressive enough?’ etc, The other person is probably very lovely and just keen to expand their network but I am too engrossed in my over think to enjoy it. This in itself, takes a spoon. I cannot plan this spoon so instead I used my Ease and Embody to try and reduce it maybe to half a spoon and sometimes, that itself can give a nice focused subject I can chat freely about…double win!

Then as the day moves on meetings navigated, over thinking endured, progress made… there is the ‘you coming for lunch’ question. YES I would love to because I like these people and I am hungry. Our work restaurant is a colourful and vibrant space with every food option covered, Guess what? SENSORY OVERLOAD. Smells & noises are off the scale. You hope that anyone you sit with doesn’t get anything too exotic or flavoursome because not only do you wrestle with your inner voices over lunch, you will smell it on your hair and clothes all afternoon. Then if you are with the same bunch for afternoon meetings, you will smell in on them too. Living with Autism means that I know all of these sounds bizarre and particular but equally you cannot change the way you feel. The way forward is to surround yourself with great friends and colleagues. Make good choices and be kind to yourself. I use my essential oils through the day, makes it that little bit easier and means I can be who I need to be. I love Spring and Summer because we can eat outside and this is SO much gentler on my sensory experience. Way less intense. Quieter, fresh air and all round much more restful. The outdoors always makes me feel better, almost immediately!

In summary, Essential oils help me to navigate some of the daily things that I need to navigate to function and to be able to ‘be’. If you haven’t tried it yet, give it a go.

Ease & Embody- The story behind the blend

As an aromatherapist your tools are your essential oils; they are all so unique and packed with so much strength and science. It might be just me but (hear me out...) I have a personality for each of my favourite oils (honestly, never invite me for coffee because this is what you get). Maybe it’s one of my Autistic ‘special topics of interest’ or maybe I am just a total Essential nut.  

Essential Oils for me, play a really important role in my life. I use them to support me, through good and bad. I have my bedtime heroes- Vetiver, Frankincense and Chamomile and not forgetting my superhero- Ylang Ylang. Did you know Ylang Ylang is reported to have a similar impact on the body as Beta Blockers? I know right, I was popping those bad boys for years, and I can tell you they don’t smell half as good as the gorgeous Ylang Ylang. In all seriousness, Beta Blockers played a vital medical role for me in managing crippling anxiety, but I find it fascinating we could find a little of that benefit waiting for us in nature, even as a supporting role- it's a great companion. 

Essential Oils blending

When I was working on the blends for my first saleable blends I wanted to share a little bit of my world, share the benefit and help others (maybe you?) to embrace just what essential oils can do for us, in an easy way so you don’t need to worry about hows, what’s and chemical compounds. Once I was happy, they went off to the lab for testing so I can ensure they are safe and fit to sell without me needing a 121 consultation with you. (If in doubt please chat me to ask about allergens and request Safety data sheets). 

When I created Ease and Embody, I was already using this when it was just my own personal blend to help me in my daily life. I am autistic and find lots of day to day stuff quite draining and have quite a few ‘barriers’. The thought of ‘popping in’ for a quick drink in an unfamiliar place would fill me with dread in case it smells un-bearable or too noisy etc etc so I would just roll off some excuses ‘just need to pop to that random shop’ ‘need to get back **insert random reason**’ blah blah. My husband is very patient but it doesn’t feel good. At work, I would be sat in a meeting room, desperately trying to keep up my work facade. Trying to navigate complex emotions and stressful situations and focus on sometimes boring content.  It was a total breakthrough for me to be able to use a discrete roller bottle, roll a little on my wrists and take some deep breaths. Nobody even really notices (other than those that stop and say ‘ooo what’s that smell?’ as it wafts round the conference table). For me this just means I CAN. It instantly grounds me, refocuses my mind and weirdly, I feel assured and held. 

What’s in the roller I hear you ask!? This is quite the line up, not going to lie. Allow me to introduce you to my gorgeous assistant, the key to my daily management ritual and the reason I can now more often say ‘sure’ than I have ever been able to before: Clary Sage; the gorgeous and intelligent celebrity of Essential oils. This beauty makes her presence known when she walks into a room, clever and charming and full of pizazz. Soothes and calms emotional volatility by supporting the parasympathetic nervous system (the good one). Packed with Linalyl acetate and Linalool it helps to relax and calm overactive nerves.

Lavender; the most kind and caring friend you could ever wish to meet. Beautiful but understated. She is the one you can call for advice, and she never fails to make you feel better.

Peppermint; Always smells incredible and can lift your mood just by being around you, immediately makes sense of things for you. Works as a nerve stimulant, relieving fatigue and improving mental clarity- to name but a few of his awesome superpowers!

Rosemary; now here is a sophisticated and spicy character. Always willing to step in and roll up their sleeves, bold enough to make an impact but no ego here. It’s 1,8-cineole, camphor and pinene profile which give it the signature energising effects. Ylang Ylang; (my current favorite child). Strong and dependable with a cheeky streak of freshness.

Finally, this little pocket rocket is rounded off with-

Eucalyptus; The cool and calm hand holder. It brings along some gentle anaesthetic, reduces inflammation, and cools things down.  

Ease and Embody roller

As you can see with these lovely companions, some of those day-to-day situations can be much more do-able, maybe even enjoyable! 

  I specialise in working with essential oils through inhalation. For me, this is such a powerful method. Scent has always had a profound impact on me and my emotional state. When I learned more about this and how I could influence it deliberately, I was blown away. As you inhale scent, odorants enter the nose and bind to specialised receptors in the olfactory epithelium.

Here electrical signals travel to the olfactory bulb- these are then sent directly to the brain regions for emotion and memory (your limbic system). Pretty awesome, right? Now, couple that with the use of essential oils which are tiny powerful drops of all-natural goodness.  

Nose- just for fun

I have no idea why; we are not taught more about these powerful tools in our younger education. I am not someone who ever suggests holistic over mainstream medical treatment, but I am a HUGE advocate of always considering how we can support our wellness journeys with a little support from the superhero essential oils. 

My mission is to educate and simplify; I want them to become a little less ‘woo’ in people’s minds and more of a fundamental tool. Scent & Bloom is a business on a mission. My purpose and vision are to help others by sharing what I have learned.  

Roller bottle embraced in nature

There is a whole world of stress, anxiety and burnout (trust me, I have lived all of them) essential oils, used correctly can and should be seen as one of your support squads. They have been around forever (we all are familiar with Frankincense being given to the baby Jesus) yet somehow, I feel like we over look them. My advice is to come and explore, give them a try. Worst case you will just smell fabulous, best case you may well find you open a whole treasure chest of support. 

sunsetting

It has got to the stage where I not only check I have my phone, keys also purse etc I now route round my handbag for my Ease and Embody roller.  So much so I now keep one in the car, in my coat pocket and in my ‘out out’ handbag. 

If you enjoyed my ramble, keep your eyes peeled when I introduce you to the cheer squad of hero’s behind my morning ritual- Rise & shine! 

Faye x

Neuro Christmas

It is that time of year where we all have to seem like we are all expected to have a wonderful time. Don’t get me wrong there are bits of it that I love. I love crisp Winter days, I love cosy evenings in with comfort at the heart of everything. I love seeing my closest friends and I love seeing how excited my kids get.

For me, and I know my neuro pals also struggle, it is the relentless extra stuff that has to happen. It is the extensive school activities and things to remember. The whole house takes on a different look, there is ‘stuff’ coming out of every corner and the ‘organised fun’. I don’t like big social events, the thought of small talk with people that I haven’t chosen to spend time with makes my toes curl. Getting trussed up like a turkey to go and endure people drinking too much and talking in close proximity with their berry breathe,,,no thanks and I am certainly not going to be paying a premium just because you arranged some dodgy cover act. There seems to be a new and more expensive kids event EVERY year, not just popping to see Santa in the shopping centre. It’s Santa on an island, Santa in a cave, Santa on Safari, Light up zoos, Lantern extravaganzas, full on Lapland in the UK. When does it end?

Busy shops, food shop hysteria just leave me in a sweaty state of indecision!

I am not sure when things go so focused on ‘things’. I desperately want my kids to see it as a lovely time to cosy in, enjoy family time and relax. The world around us seems to fight that concept. People think they can pass judgement ‘you are a miserable !@sta!d’ or tight ‘ar!e’ why can’t we just be?

I crave normality and calm. I am the person hoofing the Christmas tree into the garden on the 27th. I can’t help it, I need routine and I need organised and familiar spaces, I need my house to smell like it should.

This year we are doing things a little different, it has caused a bit of a stir and we have been questioned but people will still get things, the kids will still get magic and sparkle but our souls will feel a little fuller and I won’t be waiting for it to be over. I want to spend the time enjoying every minute with a heart that feels full and at ease.

Let’s encourage choices, let’s discourage judgement and pressure. Be brave and be you.

As I always say this time of year, Spring is round the corner. A wise friend told me that 2026 is the Year of the Horse, a year for being bold and acheiving! Sit tight, fire up those Essential oils, I think it will be a beautiful year for many.

Living with a super nose

It took 37 years for me to learn that I wasn’t awkward, pedantic or picky. I am not ‘off-ish’ or ‘difficult’ I am actually autistic. It felt like It all made sense. My diagnosis unlocked the key to self acceptance, if only I had been able to get that much earlier on!

The biggest insight to come from this process was the reason and understanding behind my life-long fixation with smell. Smell for me genuinely rules my life. I avoid going to places that smell in certain ways on certain days. Sometimes I can tolerate it more than others. I will actively avoid certain people for the way they smell, I don’t mean a classic ‘bad smell’ just smells that make me feel irritable, uncomfortable and physically sick…even make me physically cry. I can be totally distracted from even a basic conversation. I purposefully seek out smells that I love, they can make me feel at ease, vibrant and full of excitement.

It is so hard to explain this to anyone who isn’t like me but at 39 and fully informed, I realised how I can take all of this and translate it into a business that serves to support other people like me, to embrace it and see it as my super power!

My blog will share my personal experience with the world through the lens of a super nose! I hope to reach those that experience the world as I do, in full technicolor smell! I want to create a place where people feel welcome, supported and our super noses can run free.

Faye

x